Have you ever promised yourself that you would not do something an adult did that bothered you but you grew up and did it anyway?
I betrayed my younger self who is the real me. Each broken promise left me feeling more and more broken and lost. I was growing up and seeing the world for what it really is. Seeing people for who they really are. It was heartbreaking.
Letting this pain and disappointment lead me down the wrong road. I was depressed and suicidal. Until I lost everything. My pain wasn't about me anymore it was about the people I hurt.
Which made me realize how much of a hypocrite I was being. I claimed I didn't want to hurt anyone but I was hurting everyone by hurting myself.
My suffering stopped once I decided to face that little girl who I broke all my promises too. I learned to notice her and love her enough to let her shine. Tired of trying to be who everyone else wanted to be I focused on who that 5 year old little girl in me wanted to be.
First by changing my habits. Then I learned to forgive myself because I didn't know any better. After all I was just working with what I knew. The hardest part was accepting myself and living in my light and truth. I stopped allowing others to project their fears onto me.
So much freedom came with living by who my heart has taught me to be, and not what society tried to shape me into being.
It's hard. It's so hard to keep pushing and moving when you can barely feel the ground under your feet or the oxygen in your lungs.
My whole world is spinning and changing and it hurts to lose people but I know it's for the better. My social circle can only handle so many people. I have to lose good ones to make space for better people. It hurts but the pain is what causes progress and growth. I will be okay!
Facing life was a huge wake-up call but I've woken up and I am ready! And those who fight along with you will prosper with you. But those who fold will never be able to reach your level of reality. Don't be hurt or mad. Be disappointed, but keep wishing love and happiness for them. Because at the end of the day it's not about who they are, it's about who YOU are!
What happens when your life flashes before your eyes? Do you cry? Do you run? Do you laugh? They never really teach you what to do afterward just tell you how to avoid it.
What happens when you make mistakes over and over again? You’re foolish. But you are no fool. Therefore you must WAKE UP. Cry its okay. Cry until you have no more tears left but darling don’t cry and do nothing about it. That's foolish and Once again you are no fool!
What's next? are you done crying? I'd say yes but that would be a lie I can not predict the future. But for some reason, my reactions have been very predictable lately and this needs to stop. You are strong the strongest. You CAN accomplish anything you put your mind too. So do it.
Get up and do it. It's simple or at least it sounds simple, and many believe it is, which is a problem.
If one can hear it or see it they'll believe it. If it can't be seen or heard one won't believe in it. And this is a problem because mental illness exists. But they are being disregarded and even ignored.
Older generations seem to have this mindset that we're young and we have it easy, but we don't.
Although social media has a lot of positive benefits it comes with a lot of negative ones too. Bow before I go on, I want to say I'm not here to blame social media for society's downfall, as many other things contributed to mental health disorders, and I will cover them but be patient with me, please.
Social media allows you to be exposed to everyone else's success before you even get a chance to start thinking or creating your own.
Don't get me wrong, it's motivating and inspiring, but also discouraging.